No such thing as old rock stars

Paul Mccartney recently said "Some people don't believe in climate warming-like those who don't believe there was a holocaust." Now, before you stop reading, let me allay your fears and assure you that this is not a post about global warming. There are enough unread/unreadable political blogs out there, and I for one am not going to add to that cyber-heap. I'm going to add to the cyber-heap of unread/unreadable non-political blogs. It seems like every ten minutes or so, some celebrity makes some ridiculous statement about a political issue that leaves me scratching my head, and inevitably I ask myself; why do people from the entertainment industry feel like they have something valuable to say about political issues? You'll be happy to know that I have discovered an answer to that question. In most cases, celebrities like Mccartney have been fawned over their entire adult life, therefore they think everything they say is important-even if they are completely clueless. When they're at the height of their careers, all of their creative abilities are funneled into their art. When their artistic abilities start to diminish, they funnel their efforts into other areas. Usually, the further the celebrity is from their success the more asinine and frequent their mind-numbing comments. Hence, the stupid comment from Sir Paul. Mccartney hasn't contributed anything valuable to music in decades. Actually, that's not entirely true. He did have that ridiculous Zoolanderesque picture from the album he released a few years ago. You remember...the album that Apple and Starbucks tried to cram down the throats of unwitting Americans? It's ok if you don't remember the album-Mccartney doesn't remember it either. I'm not naive enough to think that Mccartney's comment will be the last (after all, Bono and Sean Penn are still lurking out there somewhere), or that other has-beens won't join him in the choir of I-used-to-be-someone...really. However, I feel obligated to deliver a message to all the washed-up celebrities out there who are contemplating saying anything in front of a microphone: We really appreciate what you gave us when you were good; however, those days are long gone and they are never coming back. When I was a teenager, I had a thirty inch vertical. Now it's probably not even half of that. Guess what? I'm not on a basketball court trying to dunk and my life is still satisfying. The fact of the matter is, we do not care about your political views. Sing your songs, play your guitar, dunk the ball, throw the touchdown, and when you can't do those things anymore go away. I promise you we won't hold it against you...we might like you even more.

Kerouac vs. Me

In anticipation of my upcoming cross-country trip, I read Kerouac's On The Road. That got me thinking (what's that burning smell?), who wins in a head to head battle of cross country trips...me or Kerouac? 1)Transport: While I don't object to flying through the heartland on the back of a flat-bed shared with various hobos, I'm pretty sure my wife would. If I and my fellow raodtrippers were to gather our vehicles and choose the best option for driving across a continent, we would be facing the possibility of two weeks with five people crammed into a '99 Honda Accord. Did you know that renting a car for two weeks is surprisingly affordable? 2)Food: Kerouac routinely went without eating and sometimes resorted to stealing sustinence. My group and I have planned almost the entire trip around restaurants where we will be stopping. 3)American spirit: Did you know Kerouac's parents were so called French Canadians? Not mine. Let's review the categories. 1)Transport: Hitchhiking and stealing gas and cars vs. renting a car with ac-I win. 2)Food: Not knowing where your next meal will come from vs. begrudgingly leaving a 15% tip because the waitress only filled your coffee cup three times instead of four-I win. 3)American spirit: What kind of name is Kerouac anyway-I win. So if your keeping score, and you're not a filthy cheater like the refs in the World Cup who have routinely screwed the American team out of goals (good thing soccer isn't a real sport), I clearly win. Sorry Jack.