Brett Favre is ruining my summer, again

Yesterday, the sports world kicked off the festival that has become an annual tradition. Brett Favre announced his retirement from the "game he loves," and today, he subsequently declared that he will in fact play if he is "healthy." This leads me to my first question; why does anyone give this guy a microphone during the off-season? We all know what's going to happen. During the first stage of the Favre Retirement Tour (sponsored by Wrangler Real. Comfortable. Jeans. tm.) Brett will step to a podium somewhere in Mississippi and, while holding back tears, announce that he has made the difficult decision to step away from "the game I love and have given 87 years of my life to. (tm)." The second stage of the Favre Retirement Tour (sponsored by Wrangler Real. Comfortable. Jeans. tm.) will feature a news leak that Favre will play if he is "healthy" and feels like he is in "playing condition." This leak will, of course, be accompanied by video of Favre throwing passes to high school football players somewhere in Mississippi while wearing his Real. Comfortable. Jeans. (tm). I propose that we institute a new stage in the Favre Retirement Tour (sponsored by Wrangler Real. Comfortable. Jeans. tm.) It could be called the "We could not care less about your retirement." During this stage we could gather at a park (somewhere in Mississippi while wearing our Real. Comfortable. Jeans. tm.) and tell Brett emphatically that we will no longer be listening to his idiotic ramblings about "how much he loves the game of football," and "how much he has given to the game of football," and "what a difficult decision it has been to walk away from the game of football," and "how much he wants to just spend time with his family away from the game of football." Take a lesson from Barry Sanders, Brett; when you are ready to retire, and you've stopped changing your mind like a stoner standing in front of the frozen burrito freezer case... skip the 24 hour a day seven days a week updates and just ride into the sunset wearing your Real. Comfortable. Jeans. (tm).